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| My Journal |
It's an odd feeling, not knowing how to write. Especially when I have an urge to simply sit down with a pen and my journal, to just let my hand scrawl across the page. But it won't start. I haven't write anything in my journal since May 2011, it used to be so much easier but lately, I feel so scared to write in there, cos I know that it's gonna be hard to stop once my flow starts and the massive preamble's scrambling up, all the stuff about feelings, heart and how much I miss him, missing us just gonna make me shed a tear and keep me awake till the morning sun knock on my window.
It's really hard for me to write exactly what I'm thinking because right now I seems to think a thousand things at once. How is that even possible? Regardless, it's true.
And it's so sad that I can't really think in pretty words right now, I wish I did. I wish my thought were like bits of poetry, all tangled up in my stomach and I could just spit them out onto my journal, unique and extra ordinary. But the truth is, when I try to start to write, I feel like I'm just rehashing things that have already been written, have already been said. I feel like losing the ability to write anything.
So instead I re-read everything I ever wrote in there, and turns out it's not helping either, even worse. At times like this, it's just plain frustrating.
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