it was one of those nights. what nights?

I couldn't answer that, to be honest with you. Though let me just say, that it was one of those nights where I seemed to be the only one awake,

while the rest of the world was asleep. it was one of those nights when I couldn't get a wink of sleep, even after lying down in various comfortable (and uncomfortable) positions in bed. Nothing, not even the sleeping pills could bring me to sleep, no result.

My brain still whirred like an on-machine, my thoughts flashed vividly, with no sign of stopping. I couldn't bear it. I couldn't wipe any of it out of my head.

That pouring Thursday, that face, those words I said (my cruelty) and taunting insults and offenses. 

That morning was covered with a grey skies, I forced myself to enter that house with a blurry memories in my head, to a room filled by those distraught faces.

Right in front of me, a grieving mother wept over a picture of her only one daughter. 

My fingers still shaking, I could feel my heart throbbing and could hear it pulsing in my ears. I couldn't see anything, just darkness. my breathing was heavy and it felt like I had to breath all the way through to my stomach until it inhaled. 

After breaking out in a sweat, I sighed, before I decided to roll over to one side of the bed and push myself up and get up. After staggering out of my room to the bathroom, I flicked the switch. The lights flickered on. That white, sickly, bright light that instantly stung my eyes with was so used to staring into the darkness of the past three or four hours.

But then I saw it ….

Those bruises, morphed into my own form and complexion. Creating me. That was what I was, a bruise, an unwanted part.

There were the times I thought how monsters were underneath my bed, though now I realized, the monster was the one in my reflection staring back at me.