Beauty

I find myself on a train moving quickly away from all I know into something much more vast. I can’t say if that vastness is frightening or exciting; all I know is that I am headed for it as fast as a speeding bullet. The sun is setting just as it has set every day of my life. There are so many things that happen to us every day. Most of them become mundane and ordinary after a while.
And yet, people will forever be fascinated by sunsets and sunrises. Twice a day, if we pay attention we can be reminded how beautiful and fleeting life is. That the sun sets every single day, but eventually we won’t be able to watch it anymore. All we need to do to appreciate it is watch. The sky catches fire, the rays dance and illuminate the world in such a way that for a few moments, everything is beautiful.
I have decided that aside from sunsets and beauty, movies, unicycles, cartwheels, golf courses, t-shirts and late night conversations are important. Having something in common with someone. Having nothing in common with someone and liking them anyways, Remembering your dreams, Forgetting why you hate someone, Forgetting logic and loving someone simply because your heart tells you to, Letting go of time, Being on time, Letting yourself be in the right place at the right time, Running as fast as you can, Walking without a destination or purpose, Telling the truth, Making someone smile, Letting yourself smile, Breaking the rules, Following your whims, Making silly purchases, Adventures, Spontaneous moments, Sincerity, The ocean, Mountains, Telling someone at least once a day, “I love you” and meaning it.
Give it a try ❤

My Ramadan fasting

Ramadan is a special month of the year for over one billion Muslims throughout the world. It is a time for inner reflection, devotion to God, and self-control. Muslims think of it as a kind of tune-up for their spiritual lives. There are as many meanings of Ramadan as there are Muslims.
It is in this month that Muslims attempt to let go of the worldly pleasure and decide to reorient themselves towards being better humans - humans that are not so lost in the pursuit of their desire that they cannot sense the needs of others. And also in which participating Muslims refrain from eating and drinking during daylight hours and is intended to teach the Muslims about patience.


I have my own way of ramadan fasting, which for me there'll be no cigarettes, parties, alcohol and sex (this last part should be very easy tho) for one whole month. So yea it is more or less about self-control and patience to me. ^_^


I wish you all my Muslim friends a very happy ramadan mubarak. الحمد لله



My new cutest boyfriend Darrell 

Black Book & David

My black book in Norway ... I'm forcing everyone to be a writer ^_^




*New discovery*
 My own personal Adventure land. Never a dull moment.

Marry me ❤


I really love the opening of this video-clip




Writer's block

My Journal

It's an odd feeling, not knowing how to write. Especially when I have an urge to simply sit down with a pen and my journal, to just let my hand scrawl across the page. But it won't start. I haven't write anything in my journal since May 2011, it used to be so much easier but lately, I feel so scared to write in there, cos I know that it's gonna be hard to stop once my flow starts and the massive preamble's scrambling up, all the stuff about feelings, heart and how much I miss him, missing us just gonna make me shed a tear and keep me awake till the morning sun knock on my window.   
It's really hard for me to write exactly what I'm thinking because right now I seems to think a thousand things at once. How is that even possible? Regardless, it's true.
And it's so sad that I can't really think in pretty words right now, I wish I did. I wish my thought were like bits of poetry, all tangled up in my stomach and I could just spit them out onto my journal, unique and extra ordinary. But the truth is, when I try to start to write, I feel like I'm just rehashing things that have already been written, have already been said. I feel like losing the ability to write anything.

So instead I re-read everything I ever wrote in there, and turns out it's not helping either, even worse. At times like this, it's just plain frustrating. 

Two Ways

St. Tropez
There are two ways to look at life.


Actually; that’s not accurate, I suppose there are thousands of ways to look at life. But I tend to dwell on two of them. the first view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently connected, and that the only driving force in anyone’s life is entropy. The second is that everything pretty much stays same (more or less) and that everything is completely connected, even if we don’t realize it.

I was going to write something elaborate
But I think I’ll just settle with;

"I am deeply disappointed"

A Crucial Reminder

The more and more I try to make sense of the past few months, I keep coming up short as to how and why things happened the way they did. The irony (as always) is that nothing I planned for really panned out the way I had hoped, and perhaps it is my nature that got the best of me where I have yet to reconcile the deep sense of investment I had in certain things I put my heart to. But I don’t really believe that self-sacrifice (be it in the name of love or anything worth fighting for) is ever wasted and, like he has said to me numerous times today, I’ve changed drastically in this short amount of time because of all that has happened. I’ve made my blunders and my faux-pas, but the broken woman that I am, knows she has to put herself back together.
I hate the sort of revolving door feeling of life, where people literally come in and out of your life in this sort of cyclical motion. And I mean this both in the sense that certain people come back after having been gone and that new people come to replace the old. Disillusionment in one way or another gets the best of me, be it the people I’ve come to truly know or the things I’ve perhaps wrongfully valued. You learn quickly that life owes you nothing. People owe you no apologies, no decency, no respect. You establish your own standards, your own raison d’etre. Those who love and support that reason for being are worth holding close; all else is meant to be let go with your forgiveness, your love, and your acceptance.
It’s all to be taken in stride, and especially when I have this long summer to reflect, I know at the end of it all that things are as they are meant to be. 
Yes, I’ve said this all before in some way, but I think committing to writing again serves as such a crucial reminder that things are and will be okay.

An Excerpt




They keep asking me the same question, that particular one, the one I don't have the answer for. But let me try to put it this way; 
It’s like…one of those brain teasers. Like the one with the rabbit and the duck. In fact it is just like that.
So you look at the picture and the first thing you see is the duck. he does too, and it’s cute, so you both laugh at it a bit. But you take a closer look and you also realize the rabbit is inside the same image. So you point it out to him, because it’s clearly there, you’re not imagining things. But then he tells you he doesn’t see it. Which is fine. I mean, not all of those brain teasers are easy. In fact they aren’t even meant to be. That’s the point. You have to take a really long hard look and try to make yourself see things differently til you get the trick to it.
So you be patient, laugh it off and carefully outline the rabbit very slowly so he can see it; where the ears are, its eyes, the snout; the whole nine. Yet even after that he still doesn’t see it, which can be pretty frustrating in itself, but what really grinds your gears is that he has the nerve to claim the rabbit isn’t even there. he denies the rabbit’s very existence.
It’s completely fine he may not see the rabbit. But just because he doesn’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. But then you start to doubt yourself. Questioning whether you really do see a rabbit. And you did, you truly did, but he’s so damn adamant about it you think he might be right. You look at the picture again and all you can see is that damn duck. You start to think you’re crazy. So yea, this is just an easy example.
He never notice the rabbit.





There is no such thing as not caring; we simply care so much that we wish we didn’t.
It seems that emotional ties still linger, even when they are no longer visible.

Solitude

The summer haze always makes me crave adventure. Wanderlust hits, and I am at its complete mercy. A bustling city. To be reborn again in the throes of curiosity and wonder of something so entirely novel. I love that traveling is a full sensory experience, something engages you in so many different ways simultaneously.
But as much as I love solitude, which I’ve come to appreciate as time to cultivate my mind and to convey my thoughts into words, I crave more than ever a sense of meaningful companionship. I find myself constantly moving away from large groups nowadays, away from the sensory overloads that is the clubbing scene. I live for frappuccino dates, for one-on-ones, for moments where you genuinely connect with someone.
I’d love to be lost somewhere with a friend. Someone I can share a journey with, my heart with, and my words with. 

The Werewolf Song


I find this track really strong, not to mention the lyrics.
oh my dear christina, why are you so fat now? I miss the sexy version of you

xxx

Horoscope Fun




Scorpio and Scorpio love compatibility 



These two are capable to light the fire even in the water. The problem is that they are too similar. They are both resolute, both are proprietors, and both have awful characters. They are highly jealous and demanding. They are so intense that every little storm quickly becomes a hurricane. Both are sulky, brooding, possessive. Both are in a continual struggle to force the other to relinquish control. If they have different opinions about something, it may result in big cracks in their relationship, and as a result the mutual understanding between them will evaporate. Their connection can not last long outside a warm atmosphere of the bedroom. The connection is extraordinary. The marriage is a real disaster!


LOL


Those moments when you cant rest till you break something or lash out on somebody. when you head wants to explode from all the anger but your body is perfectly still , your breathing so heavily but you know you cant do shit about what you're angry about right now ... cant do shit.

But in real life, Princesses get no happy endings.
They get Princes so that when merchandise and dolls are made
the Princess's dress matches the Prince's bow-tie and dashing suits.
Each doll sold separately.


Insidious


Try watching this alone, at night with full sound on and prepare to become paranoid and given shivers the whole time. Insidious is the most terrifying, nail biting, suspensful, intelligent, dark, atmospheric and jumpiest horror movie ever. Superbly acted with fine performances from the whole cast and just executed perfectly throughout. The use of the song 'Tip toe through the tulips' belongs in this horror movie really well, the best horror there is, down right scary from start to finish with a great ending that will shock and intrigue.

“People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad.” 

- Marcel Proust -

To you and only you

My Dearest Sister,



How did you get here? Was it by miracle or cosmic joke? Did the stars align or did shit just happen? You’ve reached a point in your life where things are starting to make sense. For once, you’re at peace with the way things are. No obsession with the future, and no regret for the past. The sea is calm, and the living is easy. You have a foothold on maturity, but wisdom still eludes your grasp. Goodbye, shotgun. Hello, driver seat. Kudos for making it this far. But don’t pop the cork quite yet.  
What I know is things change. That the rug can be pulled out from under your feet. That life can sucker punch you, while you're daydreaming. That the curtains can be drawn at any time throughout the show. It won’t always be this way. There will be a time when the sun doesn’t rise and set. But until that day comes, ride it until the wheels fall off.  
We can never predict how life turns out. I can’t tell you if you’ll be happy, married, or successful. I know some of your prayers will be left unanswered. And I know that most answers will strike you in mysterious ways. Ways that will leave you wondering, guessing, and questioning. You’re here because of the decisions you’ve made. The paths you chose. These are the cards you’ve been dealt. Read it and weep.  
You’re at an age, where you need to figure things out. What kind of life to pursue. What guy to spend your days with. Who to fall in love with. There are too many questions to worry about the answers. The more you fight it, the faster you drown. The end is a question mark. Punctuated by the uncertainty, lurking around every corner and hiding behind every face you see. There are lives we’re meant to touch. And there are those we let slip through our fingers. Do we catch them and hang on? Or do we give up and let go? Time to pop the cork and find out.

PS : I love you.

"Isn't it amazing to see how people act totally opposite to what they preach? 
Like whining about people leaving them for others yet doing that exactly within a few days. 
It just makes life so much more interesting." 

Marlon Brando
+

Strawberries chocolate cake
=

Happy Jordy ^_^

Cheating





Bring up the topic of cheating today with my sister and the conversation rage for hours. But there’s one aspect nobody ever seems to talk about: let say what if the person “a guy” betrayed his wife or girlfriend with isn’t some skanky ho. What if she’s an otherwise levelheaded, normal chick like, say, you? Because let’s face it, not everyone is 100 percent single when they meet the love of their life (let’s just put it that way). And yes I’m aware of this one particularly phrase; “Once a cheater always a cheater” (believe me I still DO keep that in mind). It’s not automatically true that if he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you, right ???, you just have to be very, very careful. And again of course the big question will always be there somewhere in the corner of your head: If a guy cheated on someone with you, can you really trust him not to do the same to you?

But on top of that, I do have my own opinion on cheating on people. First of all, if you don’t love/like that person (anymore), BREAK UP WITH THEM, BEFORE you go onto the next one. I don’t get how hard it is to tell that person that you found someone else. It’s better than cheating and having your current to find out. That’s worse than breaking up because they’re gonna have to live with it, and know that there is someone better than them. If you’re gonna cheat on someone, you better have a legit reason and better be prepared with the consequences.
You’re taken for a reason. Your relationship status can’t give you the option to put multiple relationship, SO DON’T!!. Put only one name down.

uhm yea, I know what some of you might think about this one. Ironically, "look who's talking" right?.



I'm either hallucinating &

 extremely tired or my stuffed

 kitty is walking around my bedroom

 on my wedges o_Ô

or could it be that my doctor gave

 me the wrong prescription ?

Secretary


"This S&M satire teeters on the verge of sleaze and exploitation but never descends into those domains due to Maggie Gyllenhaal's exquisite performance in a tricky role."




The performances are subtle and endearing and not at all what one would expect. It's just too original to be ignored. So sensuous, taboo, steamy, raw and seductive is "The Secretary" that it goes beyond the red light of "no," but when watching it you can see it makes sense to the two main characters. They let their emotional needs awake each other. They open up their vulnerabilities so well that it's not wrong to say that they are having a relationship and what they are doing with each other is acceptable, because both want what the other is giving them.


I've never seen James Spader so powerfully creepy, erratic, sensuous, and brilliant as he was in this movie where he took this character inside himself and let the personality stew and simmer until his boiling point was  magnified. Then, he gently brought it down to a gentleness that made you see the true fun-loving person that he really was. Included, is his ability to maintain a character with such a freakiness, smoothness and a sexual tension, so heated with desire that it was excruciatingly good to watch!

Maggie Gyllenhaal was exceptional in a daring and tricky role. She demonstrated the great ability of controlling her character's moods and making it believable. Watching her progress and appearance change throughout the movie gives you the chance to see who she really wants to be and what she's willing to do to keep it open and fresh. A special note is at the end scene where her face just speaks to you about all the swarms of naughtiness she has in store for Mr. Grey. I must say that she played her role of character perfectly.

I loved the song "I'm Your Man" by Leonard Cohen. His husky and sensuoustones give a sexiness and fun to the plan of action that you can only assume is going to let loose soon after the scene has finished. The musicin general was quite pleasing. It set up many entertaining scenes that gave this movie even more intelligent and provocative subject matter to soak in.



A great feature film with enough laughs, weirdness, fine performances and filmmaking.


Sometimes



Sometimes you can work it out, sometimes you can't
Sometimes it's just outta your hand
Every once in a while you think you figured it out
But sometimes you're not right
Sometimes it easy, sometimes it ain't
It is hurts to know the loving you had is slowly fading away
And you forced to watch everything fall apart

Strawberry Scented Dreams


I had a dream I was in the middle of a strawberry field, and I was waiting for someone. I don’t know who, but I know it was someone important. Before I can meet that person, I woke up. And I suddenly had a craving  for strawberries. Ah! Sandman you did it again damn you!